This is why I’m Broke

Since I’m writing a blog about being broke in Columbia,  perhaps I should explain why I’m broke in the first place.

I call bullshit.

It’s all due to a cornucopia of shortcomings and personal failings, my friend.  I majored in Theatre with an English minor, for starters.  Which, as this list will tell you, probably isn’t the most lucrative combo.  :/

With a few exceptions,  I’ve just about always ended up dating guys who are even broker than I am…which is just sad.  Having a penchant for starving artists hasn’t left me poised to marry into wealth.  In fact, it’s usually left me worse off financially than I would have been on my own (“Hey baby…can you spot me 60 bucks for some gesso?”).  Which, given my lack of math skills, was probably my only option for escape from my poverty.  :/

After a series of terrible-paying retail and food service jobs in college, I somehow managed to get a not-terrible paying job at the SC Arts Commission.  Don’t be fooled, folks…when I say not-terrible, all I mean is I don’t have to ration my ramen noodles or make “tomato soup” from ketchup packets and hot water anymore.    Now, I’m sure some of you are even broker than I am (you literally poor bastards), but let’s avoid any “broker than thou” pissing contests, shall we?

Oh…here’s another reason why I’m broke:

Wipe that smile of your face, missy. You’re about to start replacing your sweet ride…one (expensive) part at a time.

See this cute lil 1988 VW Cabriolet?

Cuteness has a cost, friends.

I fell madly in love with this car and bought it on the cheap.  Little did I know I would end up spending more maintaining/restoring it than my wealthier friends spend on car payments for their new cars.   And I can’t give it up now.  The ship of Theseus parable comes to mind.

You’re gonna replace ‘em all, loser!

But enough of this self-depreciation!  Despite my complete and utter failure to be a successful grownup, I still somehow manage to lead a pretty fun life where I manage to do cool things and still keep enough money in the bank to pay for this week’s emergency car repair (This week:  New brakes).  After years of abject poverty and struggle, I’ve learned many tips and tricks.

So, shake the dirt off your ragged clothing; you starving, filthy beggars!  It’s time to rise above our humble incomes and live the good life…or at least one that sucks a whole lot less.  :)

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Don’t worry! Be happy!

Cheers!

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12 thoughts on “This is why I’m Broke”

  1. Hey Jillian, love your blogs! I have followed Refashionista for over a year and recently found your new one. Your blogs are always entertaining and make me laugh; you are so talented and funny! You also make me miss Columbia because my husband and I moved from there last January and I want to move back so bad! If this makes you feel any better, I too am a 30 year old and feel like an adult failure at times…….I have a degree in the # 2 worst major to have in college. So, don’t feel alone! I too have suffered through many terrible retail jobs. Only since I have moved to middle-of-nowhere Utah have I had a “not too terrible paying” job and we are finally living just above broke. Unsuccessful adults unite! :)

  2. You are an inspiration. I just finished a MA degree in Humanities and as a result am looking into what temp agencies are best in my area. I was starting to get bummed about not having money and having high debt. But you give me hope that life can be fun, even if it is on the cheap. Money isn’t everything and I actually probably wouldn’t have made any different decisions if I had it all to do over again.

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