TP Shame

I buy ridiculously cheap toilet paper.

There.  I said it.  And I stand by this decision.

Yup...that's me!
Yup…that’s me!

What surprises me is the reaction this gets from anyone who visits my house.  People call me out on the crappy (hehe) quality of my uberthin 1-ply.

I don’t get it.  It’s toilet paper.  You’re using it to wipe fecal matter from your ass.    As long as you aren’t ending up with splinters down there, I think you’re doing okay.  Who the hell demands quality at a time like that?  Who watches Charmin commercials and thinks to themselves, “Ooooh yeah...that looks niiiice!”.

My fella lives out of town.  Can you guess what he brought with him in his most recent visit?

I question the research behind their "never felt so good" claim.
I question the research behind their “never felt so good” claim.

Now, I’m ashamed of my cheap-assedness.  Before having friends over for dinner last weekend, I asked my fella to “Put out the good toilet paper”.


Gotta keep up with the Joneses.
Gotta keep up with the Joneses.

Am I wrong to be so frugal in this area?  Is anyone else like this?

15 thoughts on “TP Shame”

  1. My husband and I have this argument all the time. He tells me he likes a very specific ( and uber-expensive) toilet paper brand. To avoid headaches, I buy a brand that is half way decent, but just like you say, as long as it doesn’t leave splinters in your bum, for crying out loud.. IS JUST TOILET PAPER! Thank you for sharing.. now I know I’m not alone.

  2. My mum is extremely fussy as she has IBS and uses TP ALOT. If its cheap she gets issues lol. For my house I buy the cheap store brand, but in the nicer 2 ply rolls. I still only pay $4 for 12 rolls lol.

  3. Growing up on the cheap stuff is why I like the better 2 ply or more. The cheap stuff is so rough and you need to use a lot more to avoid poke throughs. Personally, I loved Sam’s Club brand which is the cheapest in bulk. I no longer shop with them, so I buy Charmen with a coupon at BJ’s with their coupon too. Buy bulk and then you never have to think about running out!

  4. I bought the cheap stuff once. My family totally revolted. My husband said he works hard and he is willing to compromise in almost every product area just not this one. So I buy the store brand which is reasonable in cost and quilted 2 ply. Besides I think the cheaper and thinner it is the more you have to use.

  5. I’m a firm beilever that your butt, back and feet are the 3 things you spend the money on… Which means get a good mattress, buy a good pair of decent shoes… and wipe your butt with good toilet paper. Everything else can fall to the cheap side. 😉

  6. I am so a toilet paper snob. I can’t help it. I tried going with the cheap stuff and I just can’t do it. My boyfriend doesn’t get it so I placate him by getting the huge pack of cottonelle at Costco… But I only buy it when it’s on for $4 off a pack.

  7. You are Hilarious! Butt seriously, husband has a problem when I buy cheap TP too. And while on topic, I HATE those Northern TP ads with the bears that have stuff stuck to their bums, that’s just gross. I do think toilet paper should be sturdy enough to keep your fingers clean, but it doesn’t have to be cashmier or anything either. Mid-grade, 2-ply please, good for bum, good for wallet. So funny!

  8. I completely agree. It’s for your butt, it shouldn’t matter. My husband however has a different opinion. Once I purchased the cheap paper and I came home to discover that he went out and purchased the pricey stuff. Not only that but he THREW OUT the cheap stuff. This led to an argument about my frugal-ness (we can afford to not be so frugal, but why would I spend if I don’t have to?). Long story short, we now buy the store brand of the good stuff. It’s a good compromise.

  9. Oh, I actually laughed out loud about “put out the good toilet paper”! Because I do it, too. I can’t do the 1-ply, as I think you have to use twice as much to avoid ‘poke through’ as another commenter so elegantly put it. I would love to use Charmin Ultra Thick Linty Gold Leaf, but I’m cheap. So I buy the store brand at Aldi, or another mid-range brand with a coupon. And when someone is coming over, I put out a couple rolls of the ‘good toilet paper’ for the more discerning bums. 🙂

  10. hahaha hilarious-we use the eco (recycled but not from toilet paper XD) one (it’s an Aussie brand with a frog on it-don’t remember the name green something or other) and it’s not plush or anything, it’s a tiny bit more expensive than the supermarche brand but it performs the same function without forests being cut down. Like you said-it’s for flushing away so who cares? Cheers for the laughs.

  11. Love the LV paper! So here is why you use good toilet paper: The cheap paper is made of coarse fibers that don’t break down as easily as the finer fibers in more expensive paper. Translation: After a time cheap paper will clog some aspect of your plumbing system (it happened to me) which is not cheap to fix. You could counterbalance this with a box of Rid-X down the toilet every month.

  12. LOL…I actually prefer Costco tp…not one ply, but might as well be. It WORKS better! My son buys/brings the fluffy expensive stuff when he stays with me….silly

  13. I just came over from your Refashionista blog, and found this post. You crack me up! But seriously, I buy several different types of toilet paper. I stock up on the good stuff when it’s on sale & I have a coupon, and I buy the ratty stuff otherwise. And yes, when company comes over, I change it.

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