This is why I’m Broke

Since I’m writing a blog about being broke in Columbia,  perhaps I should explain why I’m broke in the first place.

I call bullshit.

It’s all due to a cornucopia of shortcomings and personal failings, my friend.  I majored in Theatre with an English minor, for starters.  Which, as this list will tell you, probably isn’t the most lucrative combo.  :/

With a few exceptions,  I’ve just about always ended up dating guys who are even broker than I am…which is just sad.  Having a penchant for starving artists hasn’t left me poised to marry into wealth.  In fact, it’s usually left me worse off financially than I would have been on my own (“Hey baby…can you spot me 60 bucks for some gesso?”).  Which, given my lack of math skills, was probably my only option for escape from my poverty.  :/

After a series of terrible-paying retail and food service jobs in college, I somehow managed to get a not-terrible paying job at the SC Arts Commission.  Don’t be fooled, folks…when I say not-terrible, all I mean is I don’t have to ration my ramen noodles or make “tomato soup” from ketchup packets and hot water anymore.    Now, I’m sure some of you are even broker than I am (you literally poor bastards), but let’s avoid any “broker than thou” pissing contests, shall we?

Oh…here’s another reason why I’m broke:

Wipe that smile of your face, missy. You’re about to start replacing your sweet ride…one (expensive) part at a time.

See this cute lil 1988 VW Cabriolet?

Cuteness has a cost, friends.

I fell madly in love with this car and bought it on the cheap.  Little did I know I would end up spending more maintaining/restoring it than my wealthier friends spend on car payments for their new cars.   And I can’t give it up now.  The ship of Theseus parable comes to mind.

You’re gonna replace ’em all, loser!

But enough of this self-depreciation!  Despite my complete and utter failure to be a successful grownup, I still somehow manage to lead a pretty fun life where I manage to do cool things and still keep enough money in the bank to pay for this week’s emergency car repair (This week:  New brakes).  After years of abject poverty and struggle, I’ve learned many tips and tricks.

So, shake the dirt off your ragged clothing; you starving, filthy beggars!  It’s time to rise above our humble incomes and live the good life…or at least one that sucks a whole lot less.  🙂

Thumbs Up
Don’t worry! Be happy!

Cheers!

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Welcome to Broke in Columbia!

Are you broke, but still want to have a life?  Do you want to know what’s going on in Columbia, SC that you can actually afford (that doesn’t suck)?  Well, congratulations friend…you’ve come to the right place!

Here at Broke In Columbia, you will find all sorts of awesome stuff — from great deals on booze, food, fashion, and entertainment to reviews of places and events to keep you from wasting your hard-earned moolah on something lame.

You can be broke and still have a blast in our awesome city, friends…and I’m here to show you how!  🙂

Please be patient while this page is in its infant stages.  There’ll be loads of awesome content oh-so-soon!

Having a life on the cheap