Tag Archives: Keratin

DIY Keratin Treatment (and why you probably shouldn’t do it yourself)

Pretty much everyone I see has better hair than mine, and that makes me sad.  Not sad enough to stop frying my hair with cheap boxed hair dye or grilling it with a flat iron on the daily — Just enough to passive-aggressively resent the hell out of all those cute coeds with their perfect, shiny strands.

You marvelous, beautiful bitch.

I’ve wanted to see how a Keratin treatment would work on my coarse, wavy tresses, but as you know…I’m broke.  I can’t very well flippin’ afford a $300 hair treatment.

Dyed & Fried! 😦

So,  I did what any fearless loser would do.  I bought a bottle of the professional-grade stuff from Amazon.   Now…don’t get me wrong.  Just because I did this, doesn’t mean that you should.  In fact, you probably shouldn’t.   Buying this online means that I have no way to know if this stuff is the original product, diluted, an inferior product, or rabbit skin glue.  Seriously…I’m probably an idiot for attempting this.  But, the bottle cost about $80, which is enough for about 4 treatments (This would be $1,200 in salon visits!).

I gathered my tools…

Yup…that’s a Country Crock container and a paintbrush. I’m not proud!

The bottle has detailed directions on how to administer the treatment, as well as “For Professional Use Only” written on it (I obviously ignored that last bit).  I had to wash my hair 3 times with a special sodium-free shampoo and blow it dry.

Then, I painted my locks with what I desperately hoped wasn’t horse semen…

“Hey Ladeez!”
See? It doesn’t look like semen at all! 🙂

I put a shower cap on my head and waited for 30 minutes…

So far, so good! 🙂

Then I blew my hair dry again, and began straightening it.  It took forever   (partially due to my taking several wine breaks)!  You have to straighten 1/2″ sections 10 times per section with a 450 degree flat iron.

The whole process ended up taking about 3 hours.

Aaaaand….here’s what it looks like after!  🙂

Note to self: Duckface is for D-bags. :/

My Verdict:  Keratin CAN be administered at home successfully (we’ll see if it lasts).  BUT…you’re taking a HUGE risk here, ladies.  If you have a fear of losing your hair or any sense of pride in your appearance (I’m seriously lacking in both of these areas), you shouldn’t risk it.  BUT…if your daring is matched only by your stupidity, give it a go and save some $$$!  🙂